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Alistair Woodson is a loner by choice. Since the traumatic night that ended his only friendship, he’s isolated himself by letting his classmates believe he’s a criminal and an arsonist, best to be avoided at all costs.

But on his graduation trip across Paris, Switzerland, and Italy, Alis discovers that isolation isn’t so easy to maintain in hostel rooms and cross-country trains. Soon he finds himself growing closer to classmates who were once strangers to him—namely the class clown, Craig Miltenberg, whose frustratingly good hair and cheerful disposition don’t irritate Alis nearly as much as they should.

Yet, as his deepening connections stir up painful reminders of his last doomed friendship, Alis continues to cope the only way he knows how: drowning out the pain on the inside by hurting himself on the outside. When his self-destructive behaviours intensify and put him and his new relationships in jeopardy, Alis must find the courage to confront his spiralling mental health—even if it means letting someone in.

Lex Carlow's gritty queer debut is perfect for fans of Alice Oseman, Kathleen Glasgow, and The Perks of Being a Wallflower.



What reviewers are saying...


“Lex Carlow puts heart and soul into a poignant journey through the complexities of trauma and self-acceptance…effortlessly navigates the delicate balance between darkness and hope...a captivating and heartfelt story that stays with you long after the final page…”

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